N.O.E

May 21, 2008.... off for work and there he was... that ultimate crush of mine... he wore that warm smile and i smiled back. It was nice to see him without that god-please-make-me-invisible-i-can't-breathe feeling:) He was wearing a yellow shirt (hmmm.. my fave color.. it looks good on him) and a khaki pants.. so neat and charming that guy.. and i am reminded of that No One Else song..

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME? (2)

1) What is the hardest feeling for you?
> lying to yourself..



2) What do you want to receive on your birthday?
> anything as long as it is heartily given.. (sunflowers will be greatly appreciated..hek hek)



3) Reach your hand out to the right. What do you touch?
> my officemate's stuff



4) What time did you sleep last night?
> what in the hell..! i wish i sleep at night... I am a night owl.. pwede sad bampira...:) since walang tulogan ang show...



5) What's the wallpaper on your computer?
> Wu Zun



6) What can you hear besides the computer?
> agents taking calls



7) Do you agree to the saying "to forgive is to forget?"
> no.. better say "to forgive is after the nth cursing"



8) When was the last time tears started to roll down your cheek?
> i am a crybaby.. i cry everyday, sometimes for no reason at all.. yeah, m one freak-oo



9) What/Who makes you happy?
> only one thing.. m not gonna tell..



10) What makes you frustrated?
> this question makes me frustrated because i am now thinking about those sad things..



11) What are your favorite books?
> skip.... so many..



12) What would you like to have right "at this moment" which seems totally impossible?
> to be married to... WTF! it is impossible... why think about it Carms? You really are a masochist..!!! i hate you Carms..!



13) Who will you turn to if you have a huge problem?
> myself and those dead ones... cemetery.. here i come...!!



14) What's your favorite song at the moment?
> I'm gonna love you - Jen love Hewitt & It's in the way - Clay Aiken



15) What was the last song that kept ringing on your mind last night before you sleep?
> I'm gonna love you - Jen love Hewitt & It's in the way - Clay Aiken



16) What was the best event that happened last year?
> Who knows? I am a walang paki person...



17)Where have you been today?
> office... office... office... office... can this get any better??



18) Last thing you ate?
> now that i think about it.. i haven't taken my break yet..!



19)wHo are you with ryt now?? are they cool?
> pA Asu wholesome bitches - BRATz..... they are the coolest people ever...!!!!



20) Have you gone to the beach just w/ your buddies?
> i think all normal ones do.. so that means I am normal... yippeee...!!!



21) Do you love sunsets?
> i can die watching it...



23) What are your wishes for your birthday?
> I am never fond of wishing coz i have learned that it is better not to wish for anything to avoid pain... You'll just have to pray and expect for the pinaka-bati...



24) Who do you wanna be w/ on the day of your birthday?
> I wanna be with those ones very special... There are certain degrees on how special the people i consider as special in my life... and some of them i know, they are very much willing to be wit me.. sadly though a lot of them are only 2nd, 3rd, 4th on my list... the ones on the 1st degree never care.. i bet my existence can be erased right at this very moment without them noticing my absence afterwards... such a pity..



25) Have you ever felt that you've been taken for granted?
> duh...! like every waking moment... 99% of the time i think... yeah.. such a loser, but at least m trying to live this life.. trying to love still..



26) thing/s you regret?
> My beloved bitchy Feebee Tinks answers "the huge mistakes came back with huge lessons so i don't think i'll ever regret them. sorry! " --- yeah she is right but then past mistakes are past mistakes.. they cannot be undone and no matter how you gained something from it, you can never relive the moment and i guess that is what hurts the most so until there is still a glimmer of hope left to alter the misery you are in, one should grab the moment to change it.. or it will be lost forever.. but then again, this is easier said than done...



27) Is there anything else you want to do besides answering this survey?
> i don't know.. I am really tired.. get some sleep maybe..



28) What's the most important sentence/s that lingers in your mind right now?
> What Quan said in Hana Kimi... "I do not know whether to continue to lie or reveal my lie to everyone..." It hit me badly that i posted it on my friendster profile and on my unmasked blog... He is referring how painful it is to be in love with someone secretly...



29) cookies n' cream or double dutch?
> definitely cookies n' cream...



30) Chocolate cake or brazo de mercedes?
> Chocolate Cake... I am like a chocoholic:)



31 Who's the last person you texted?
> My beloved bitches Feebee Tinks and the rest of my bitches pA Asu Dattebayut Sakura-Nerak, Mah Shei, Jinx and G... [They are taking calls right now while i am answering this survey thingy...:) ]



32). What was the last text message you received?
> From one of the agents confirming something regarding work...



36) how do you feel right now?
> I love the person who's currently in my life but i am having doubts... I want to commit badly but that part of me.. that unconscious part of me wants to let go... wants to be with someone else... does that make me a bad person?



37) whats your plan next week?
> hhmmm... i plan to have a vacation... free from work... sadly i can't... no work means no pay and i can't afford to avail that leave with pay churva because i know damn well workloads will be 10 x bigat... huhuhuhu



38) missing someone?
> yes.. but it doesn't matter... that person surely is not missing me.. so i'll just have to pour my time to this other person who happens to give a damn..



39) what's her/his role in your life
> skip.. the more i dwell on these questions, the more i think about that person and the more it hurts...



40) Have you hurt somebody in the past?
> I don't know... maybe coz sometimes i am one insensitive freak... my deepest apologies to whoever that is...



41) the person who loves u most or the person u love most?
> skip... or my heart would be totally broken.. don't wanna think about any answers regarding this...



42) in a relationship, rebound dating, single, whatever?
> right now, my status is "in a relationship" and i am giving 100% loyalty and devotion to this relationship but like i said, i am still having doubts... (i am glad He is not into friendster, blogs or other internet churvaness or else he will strangle me for this entry..In all fairness to him, I do love him, i do.. because he loves me truly..)

(heart in question)

THE NOTEBOOK

The Lake House, A Walk to remember, If Only, Serendipity, City of Angels... God! How I love these movies... but this movie here, The Notebook.. it is my favorite.. though there are times The Lake House takes over the number 1 spot..:) Their love is rare.. rare but i believe happens in real life... You love someone so much, you are even willing to die for that person but then fate intervenes. Pushes the two of you apart and there is nothing you can do but to just move on. Fate cannot be fought against with, yes i believe so but this movie.. this movie is an example that fate is the greatest horror between two people's love but can be changed. How i admire Allie's courage to fight for Noah.. and 2 thumbs up for Noah's love for Allie.. but i have to say I hated Noah (the young Noah) when he acted like some dumb ass sissy and pushed Allie away saying it is all for the best if they should just break up.. I swear I almost did some cursing when that scene played on. But He just thinks of what is best for Allie..:) That is sweet.. sweet but f*ck! Why would you push that someone whom you are in love with? I can understand if Allie was the one doing that breaking up thingy because girls get confuse and need to be re-assured.

I so like the matured Noah.. The one who exerted enough effort.. The one who talks his heart out for Allie to decide that Noah is the only one for her... that she loves her fiance but won't be complete wit him because with Noah is where all of her heart belongs to.

I love the ending... true love rocks!!!!

I cry like a baby everytime i watch this movie.

MY FAVE Movie Lines (the notebook)

Young Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah.

Noah: I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Young Allie: Are you breaking up with me?

Young Allie: (to Noah's friend) No. it is not over between us. We had a fight last night. We said some things we didn't mean.. tell him i love him.

Allie: (to her fiance) When I'm with Noah I feel like one person and when I'm with you I feel like someone totally different.

Allie: Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late.

Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Allie: So what?
Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
Allie: It's not that simple.