Sex, Advertising, Mind Control & Psychology

Sex, Advertising, Mind Control & Psychology

Veno on Multiple Personalities

Earth Research

BRATZ

this movie is the reason why me and my 3 bestmates at this present time have come up with the idea to label 'us' bratz.. we were moved by their amazing friendship.. unlike any other teen movies, this one is funny but does not encourage violence, sex and late night parties.. this focuses on how friendship should be and that helping friends and valuing your family is important.. also, this movie teaches good values and that looks or popularity is nothing but a sham.. what's important is the inner beauty.

Plus.. we kindda relate to the 4 of them.. we are very different from each other, we have different circle of friends, we behave differently, we like different things, we have different beliefs, we like different dresses, shoes... etc.. but we mesh well together inspite of those differences...

> Ma Shei - the all american Cloe, the football player of the group.. independent, astig but f*ckin if magpa-porma nah! way tooo hot..

> Jinx - the sortta Jade, the beautiful half Chinese science geek in the bratz.. the most fashionista and very pretty.. (unlike Jade, Jinx is just too into love)

> G - she relates to Sasha.. the stunning black girl cheerleader coz they both like dancin, cheerin and they are both maldita:)

> me - m kindda like Yasmin.. the mexican lady.. coz she likes to sing but has no confidence, she likes to be alone and she is the most buotan among them.. plus, she also detest clubs and is like a freak at times.. (a sexy, pretty freak.. hirit pa jud noh..nyahahahaha)

i love you my bitches - Ma Shei, Jinx and G!

Bratz Trailer

Bratz Trailer

That email sent on Jan 27, 2008

I feel like i know myself better now and i finally know what my priorities are. I also think reaching out to peopleis a lot easier now that my confused self is gone and i am glad for right now, i can breathe freely.. it was like a lump of ice has been taken away from within. My previous entries are all about confusion and serious personality crisis.. m so proud to say that this entry is an offspring from positive aura. Thanks to the email sent yesterday (Sunday, Jan 27) by a good friend of mine.. an angel.. I realized that the dream i was seeking was beautiful but fictitious.. and too idealistic to actually be concrete in this stained reality. I figured why should i follow that fictional dream when the real thing is so much better even with its ups and downs.. Why should i sacrifice those who love me for those who won't even give a damn even if a ten-wheeler truck would end my existence..?! I have awakened and all i need to do is to go back home for i was lost.. I just hope i can find a way to do so and that opportune moments are still at hand when i get home. If not, at least i will just try.. After all.. not doing what should be done whether it is right or not.. in other words, not doing things right, is one of the things i consider as wrong in this lifetime.

Supernatural Intro

Supernatural phenomenon

Supernatural ......

Jo Kyu Hyun - Dahl Peng Ee on Miracle For You

a cut of kyu hyun (super junior's 13th member) singing a remake song (Dahl Peng Ee) on Yeh Sung's Miracle For You radio show

Star King #38 - Charice Pempengco Duet with super junior Kyu Hyun (en)

Star King #38 - Charice Pempengco Duet with super junior Kyu Hyun (en)

Total Eclipse Of The Heart

A song from Westlife boys

Naruto fave scenes..

raw version

1 of my crushes Kyu Hyun

...waahhh... mura xa dri gibayotan, nevertheless, i still like him... he is so yummy when he sings... sing for me pls....:) out of the super junior (that's the name of their band - boyband in Korea), he is not the most attractive in terms of looks but he has the best voice and he is the youngest, he just celebrated his 20th b-day (manglutas na q ron..hihihi)... he looks the most decent and the most behave among them... (mag-urong ra jud xa ever maskin magkiat na ang uban..and i like him for that) he can just sit in a corner without fuss.. he is also down to earth, unlike his bandmates na pasikat au..hmp! i like him a lot.. a lot... a lot.. hell! a lot... will you marry me Kyu Hyun???? nyahahahahaha.. i like him after seeing loads of super junior's vids but i fell in love with him the moment he opens his mouth to sing... especially that duet of whole new world with our very own Charice Pempengco (check out the vids above).. forgive his english pronunciation.. korean kc:) Kyu Hyun... keep on singing for me... i can live without air, without cellphone, without nothing as long as you'll keep on singing for me (joke...! i can't live without cp of course) and favor Kyu Hyun... pls stick with blonde hair just like the vid wit Charice cos it suits you... you look like my baby kyuubi Naruto:)

sasuke_sen and naruto_cah

we are two different people... she has her own set of friends and i have mine too... she's your typical retarded extrovert jeans and t-shirt hot momma and i am your everyday schizophrenic introvert pa-tweetums girlie... when her amazing high heels brought her to Pagecomputer's lair, the rest is history... - simple pero astig... rock on!!!

girly stuff..

Jan 25, 2008 - My Alter Ego

I've known a girl once.. She's so full of life and she believes in love more than anything else. Her dreams are beyond what is real but when she talks about how to achieve those, she transcends you into another reality and you'll know that nothing indeed is impossible. I happen to have my likes because of her. Because i wanna be just like her. She likes yellow and her fave flower is sunflower and she loves nature. I can say my best years is when she was with me. My eyes reflect glow and happiness during those times unlike now... in the mirror, i can see nothing but dullness. My soul withered the moment she vanished. My passion in sketching died out and i wanna sing no more because my voice has wavered. She is my strength. I love her and i need her. I believe in her because she believes in me. She is my bestfriend and i want her to live within me once again... - alter ego

idol...:)

1. Anne Curtis... idol.. not just a pretty face... has brains too.. sexy pa jud.. all rolled into one aq idol..

2. Eugene Kim... prettiest girl i've seen ever..

3. Jessica Alba... sexiest..

4. Rhian Ramos.. i like her cos she reminds me so much of Anne Curtis..

imal guys on earth (according na q ha...)

1. Jared Padalecki... whole package... the face, the eyes, the body plus the acting... at*y!! my # 1

2. Leonardo DiCaprio.. my superstar crush..

3. Kyu Hyun... ai.. the best ang voice (westlife guys, cenxa na... i still love yah guys..!)

4. Kim Kibum... pinaka-gwapo!!!! i can't see a single flaw sa iya face... maskin cguro you'll hang him upside-down... efo gihapon.. f*ckin...!

5. Josh Hartnett... champion ka-imal sa bod.. lean, tall and yummy.. nyahahahahaha...

6. Gerald Anderson...wala lang.. pa-cute pero he has this certain effect towards me... hmmm.. and i wonder why coz i really hate pa-cute guys... (i prefer mysterious, quiet pero mamirahay...joke..! mysterious, quiet and behave..:)

*********

but Naruto will always be my ultimate:)

Jan172008

This has been days... this state of being trapped in a limbo of confusion. I don't wanna fight my own self but it is hard not to give in to your dark side.. not to embrace complete surrender to what your heart has been shoving you to do.. It is a wonder how in the end of that turmoil battle within, my brain wins over my heart when for starters.. m a very sensitive, emotional and a hopeless romantic churva... maybe because subconsciously i know that if i will make myself dance to my heart's beat, the outcome is still a losing battle. I so want to be over and done with this... to finally have an end with this derangement.. this state of being in the abyss. But i don't even know where, when and how to begin. I know that i have to start with acceptance but it is easier said than done. I am sure though that 'till i can feel this beat within me... 'till the music changes, i will for always feel the same.

This is like a curse.. No... this is what they call as the thing which makes the world go round. I wonder why i have undergone the opposite? Why my world stopped the moment i have felt this... thing. It is a pity how no one can see the real me. But who's to blame? I have never shown what is underneath.. Yes, said things.. done things.. but those are just stuff.. nothing but a pack of empty, hollow lies. Psycho!!! Lemme ask you, Can you see right through me? Would you be willing to save me before it is too late? The questions i'd like to ask to my alter ego - the one i believe is always there not when i want someone but when i need someone.. of course, it is by far better if this alter ego is God's creation instead of my own mind's doing... like a real person you longed for life... not some mind creation for psyche restoration...

Jan 11, 2008

I am so happy because reaching my quota for the day was instantly achieved and it's still 4 in the morning.. I still have 3 more hours to sleep before my shift ends.. joke! If only I could sleep while working..nyahahahaha (you wish carms) But at least, there's no tension anymore because quota's reached:) and when it is tension free from work... other factors causing tension divulge me.. *sniff* When my best mate Ma Shei secretly told me about that love thing.. something popped into my head and it is this... "love at first sight happens yes, though almost always, it is just plain instant attraction but love at first sight does happen... it is what i believe. But i do not agree that it is a miracle when it does happen..........it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime with love still in their eyes that it becomes a miracle." churva lang:) I hope though that the latter part of that love at first sight thingy will happen to me. I wonder how many couples out there are still in love with each other even if they are together for like 40 or 50 years already... it's hard to admit that nowadays, people, men in general... (not having gender anti thing.. just stating facts) find it difficult not to look for part-time partners aside from their full-time -and i've to add- 'devoted' partners. phew! is there any men out there at this present age who is after real love, real relationship instead of just 'pampalipas' thing and plain SEX......???

When a guy courts you, he is like the sweetest and most thoughtful being on earth and he constantly calls and tex you...plus, he always visits your house and will even make ligaw to your parents. When he becomes your bf, within the next 6 weeks of being mag-on.. he is still sweet but is no longer thoughtful... at this point, you are the one making the calling and the texing part but he still pours all of his free time to yah... after 3 months of being together... nyahahahaha!! correct me if m wrong but even if you tex him first, he replies so damn late and the visit thingy at your house is already out of the picture! also, at this point, probably.. his attention has been stuck with another 'doll' so might as well look for another guy... hihihi... but ladies, if he is really feeling that heart pumping churva.. if he really is in love wit you then even if you'll be together for years.. tan-aw ra kutob iya buhaton sa uban...:) that is also a fact!

NaruHina("v")

My fave couple... Naruto and Hinata... but i've to say mas bagay jud if kami Naruto.. nyahahahahaha!!!!

Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy....

F*ck... nawong pa ni? out of this world ang pagka-wafo!! still, i won't replace my baby naruto and my imal Jared Padalecki... m loyal man gud:) but m thinking ba, wouldn't it be so nice if a face like this one will be the first one you'll get to see each morning sleeping soundly beside you? lech!!! mas grabe pa na sa naka-daog ug loto d ba:) samot na if mag--- ai, censored man, baby pa ra ba q...nyahahahaha

mugna2x time (#2)

Dec20,2009 - 2:45 am

[nag-illusion na sad.. andar na sad ang katok:) ]

I saw maging sino ka man on that day despite of the hectic sked.. and I was happy coz I saw my idol Anne.. baduy no.. quebs…! As I was focusing on my work later on that night… I can’t forget some of the scenes I saw regarding that teleserye. Inggit etech ang show! And I thought what if I have been in love and is missing someone..? What would I do right now while working in the office? I wondered if I am suicidal if i experience the pain of losing someone you’re in love with. Then my psychotic self took over na sad…! I then regarded myself as na-inlove na super and na-heartbroken in the end… and I imagined the things I would do and the things I would feel. My illusions started and it went like this………

*sniff* (kuyapan q sa ka-oa sa illusion na q! dakong pasenxa)

**************************************

I was hurrying coz I was almost late and on my way to the office, I saw a familiar face. My heart leaped! He smiled and I was about to smile when I noticed a girl beside him.
“So, he found my replacement…” It was not hard to figure since the girl was like a leech clinging unto him.
I managed to show my warmest and cutest smile. “What is he thinking? Is he that desperate to get over me that he just picked a girl randomly?” I thought bitterly. I can’t say she is pretty but she is okay I guess.
“Maybe she has something good.. well, whatever is the case, he sure finds her attractive or he would not have picked her.” I said a few good words to him but then took off moments later coz I was almost late.
But before I went, I took one last look at the girl. “Dear Lord, ‘She’s like so whatever, you can do so much better.. Now I can relate to Avril’s song girlfriend.” I shook my head. And felt a stabbing pain when i remembered that saying, love is blind… “is he in love? Oh God, don’t let it happen…”
The moment I was turning on my pc and adjusting my headphones, i kept on thinking of how it went with him and how our meeting went with that SLUT! I bit my upper lip and reprimanded myself. “Hey! At least she is there to care for him since you can’t anymore… and that alone is a good thing so you should be thankful for her. So do not call her that!” My good side thought.
I am thankful I was wearing one of my best clothes ever and that I have tried to put on some light make-up. At least I am not stressed looking coz I know I am coz of work. And then I thought how can one go on if at the end of the day, you know that you are fooling no one but your own self? You see, you can pretend for as long as you like… Make the people around you believe that you are fine.. that you are happy when in reality.. deep down… you are not! It’s hard to convince yourself… but the hardest is not pretending you no longer love the person, rather it is the need to fight when there is no more reason to do so and the realization that there is no turning back to that point where you have made the biggest mistake of letting go. And like always, that empty, aching feeling inside grew… I can’t remember how many times I went to the pantry for a glass of water coz I felt like I was dehydrated. I have to admit, on that day, I really miss him. Well, I have always missed that person but the intensity was greater on that day that my eyes really were misty with held back tears even when I was taking calls. I was just glad I am one hell of an actress coz my voice has never wavered during each call coz if it did… then my bunkmates would have noticed… and it’ll be a shame coz what they have known is I am without a heart and has never been in love ever…! If they only knew! I have shed bucketful of tears already… What’s left to do but to pour all of the things I am feeling into writing… a love letter for the person I am missing would be nice.. I managed to breathe deeply and wrote the things I want him to know but can’t seem to say it out loud....

"......One day, I will disappear completely. The letters will mean nothing. The world will get tired of me. You will get tired of me. I will get tired of myself, but I will never get tired of you. For you..there will be no endings. I will say your name over and over like a refrain. My prayer to no one. then I'll be a flower, the one you'll never pick and will endure the breathless waiting until boundaries disappear.
With nothing to do, I make new constellations images of you as I remember. Dancing, sitting, walking. There are stars from a different view, but still I see nothing but you. Unfurling like a flower, swiveling like a leaf. I once watched you sleep beside me. It was dark then, but the darkness is deeper now. Tonight in my dreams I will see you.Like a kite, I've given myself up to the wind. I made friends with the sun. Confuse the birds with strange and distant voyages, but it is you that ties the thread and holds me down. Like a kite, I will forever hold your hand and with a burning human longing in your hands, I surrender.
There is no need for my return because i have never left..Only travelers leave and I've never been a traveler...I am lost, simply wanting to be in a place that i've never been..Of all destinations I long to be lost in the fields of your hair. Lost among your thoughts as you are already in mine. every song i sing is for you.. it may not look like it.. this may be hard to believe since your presence is ignored in every way, but yoU... are my will to live.. and you are constantly in my prayers.. My life started when I loved you and that's how I want it to end....."

**************************************

This entry would have been longer but how can I forget that I still need 1 more sale before reaching my quota so I saved this one na lang and back to reality… End of that fiction thing…☺ I hope the love letter was able to describe the things a heartbroken person feels. I hope nice maskin fiction lang…

mugna2x time (#1)

Jan 02, 2008

Work.. boring. EW! but on that day... Our IT guys were having problems, the sites being blocked could be accessed.. JOY!!! and what's left to do --- search for naruto! Stumbled upon this pic of naruto and Hinata. They are like the sweetest couple ever!! And then it came to me.. what if Hinata and my Kyuubi baby Naruto will fall in love in the future episodes and Hinata's family would disapprove coz they want to protect Hyuuga's byakugan.. they want to protect their bloodline hence Hinata should only marry her cousin Neji for future generations to inherit their byakugan? That'll be a love like Romeo and Juliet.. and the ending is suicide...! But i don't like Naruto to die or i'll die..hihi... but it'll be okay if Hinata would though..:) and i was thinking about what a girl feels if she would have that kind of love and what course of action she would make to escape reality... below is about a soul's end coz love is no more in the air... it is a bit sad and tragic but nice man gud na brutal kesa happy ending...hihihihi....!

********************************************

The coldness of the night sends shivers but her body trembles not because of it but because of the feeling of being dead while living. God knows when she would have her last ounce of breath and she knows too well that 'till then, she will be like a living zombie. A thought she cannot endure but she has found a perfect cure and she is off to having it. Though she knows that her heart is not strong enough for it.
"Just another few more steps and i'm there.. i'll be free at last." she said, coaxing herself to take the necessary steps to reach that place sacred for her. She practically is dragging herself to that place. She can see now the small rock underneath the tree where she has carved a love beyond human understanding. A love beyond what poets have envisioned and have written. She closed her eyes and clutched the crumpled paper on where she wrote all of what she's feeling - angst, joy, her dreams and the love she has lost for all eternity.
"i do love you..." her lips remained sealed but her heart is screaming the words over and over. She is not the type to give in, to retreat. She is a believer of love and she believes that one works his own way to make his destiny. That choices are necessary for the dream to be realized... but her strength was eaten all up. Died out because fate cannot be fought against.
Her heart is bleeding as she reaches the place where everything for her started. She took the sharp edged thing she brought all her strength could muster out from her pocket and stared at it for what seemed like an eternity. "This must be done... I'm sorry." She doesn't know to whom she is sorry for because the pain inflicts not only to her but also to those who love her.. most especially to him.
A selfish act. Yes, some she knows would label the act as that but they know nothing. For her, this is a selfish, yet unselfish act.. It feels like her heart would burst at any moment and she knew, she cannot do it. But she has to. She has to do it. "Call me names. Call me anything you want. I will forever endure the terrors in hell but i have to do this." With eyes closed, she tries to calm herself. She carefully opened the crumpled paper and read once again the things written on it. The words are without pretenses. Reading the letter once more is the only thing to do to lessen the fear.
"I would be a burden to everyone because my spirit is no longer in me." A twisted thinking indeed but can you blame someone whose heart is without a home?
Her world seemed to stop when she feels the splitting agony. She opens her eyes and saw a vividly crimson red dripping down. She instantly drops that sharp edged thing. The moon shines brightly and it casts a light to her eyes before the thing she dropped touched the ground. Yes, this is the end. Tears are streaming down her face. Life is a battle and she lost. She stooped down low for the white flag and raised it high... but at least she is able to have her own end in her own way at the place she wants. With a merest strength left, she visualized the face she has come to love with all of her being. The face she likes to trace a line every now and then. The face she so wants to kiss for always. The face she wants to see sleeping beside her each night. And with a faint smile curved on her lips, she succeeds in whispering those special words she has spoken only to him in this lifetime before her heart beats its last with the crumpled paper grasped tightly close to her heart.
Life around her goes on. The night remains still and the moon is the sole witness to one soul's end.

*********************************************

There... yeah i know... super sad. Sad man jud na suicide but then wala man gud feelings if happy ang imo i-write...:)