bREAk uP bruise or bREAk uP news?

"they say that breaking up is hard to do.."

And there goes that song.. Yeah, it is true. It is hard to break up with someone you are in love with but it is harder to break up with someone who is deeply in love with you. Why? Because you feel like you are the bad guy, the devil who steals his soul..

Break time today and i find myself get stuck with one of the sms in my inbox as i am doing some scanning. "ayaw ko e let go please" I feel the pain in that message. Who am I to have caused someone this kind of sorrow? I don't know how i am feeling as my eyes get glued on my cellphones' screen. I don't want to lead someone on but i am afraid to make a mistake. But then again, when is following your heart a mistake? Is it when everyone else is telling you indirectly that he is your Mr Right? What is the definition of Mr. Right by the way? Mine is, he is that person who falls like a rock for you and you are towards him too.. but their definition of Mr. Right is that someone who loves you more than life itself, who could give you everything life has to offer even if you just view him as your brother. What a pity if that is the very definition of Mr. Right. Better just label him as Mr. 2nd Father then. duh!! My heart aches as I read sms from him because I know I do not deserve this kind of love and attention because I just don't have any special feelings towards him anymore.. I have prayed as I was going home riding a bus earlier this morning that he may somehow find that someone who deserves all the love he has to give because his love is everything a girl could wish for! I have made ready a short letter for him.. and i plan to give this to him before he sails again..

"Sometimes, you find out what you wanted is not really what you need..
And the dream with its promise was never meant to be..
You believe the nightmare will never pass..
But I say this.. in time it does..
You'll find a way to start again..
You'll someday realize this pain is only a moment in time..
and when it happens, i'll be smiling as I see you so happy
and is having everything you need in life
while regarding me as only an instrument for you to become a better man..
And while you are with that special girl who is really for you..
You will be silently saying a prayer of thanks to HIM and to me."

Yes, he is a guy who could sweep you off your feet and offer you moon and morning sunshine but I am just not the girl for him. I hope I can find my Mr. Right... I hope he is one of the frogs who happens to drop by at this point in time for 'waiting period' is slowly creeping into that 'in vain department'.. I hope one of them turns out to be my Prince for I have encountered many frogs who in the end, ended up as frogs still... what a pity.. good Lord, have mercy.. please don't let my heart sing ocean deep..

(love, can't you hear when i call?
can't you hear a word i say..
a lil love, is all i ask..
a lil feeling when you go...)