MY ULTIMATE CRUSH (N.O.E.)

In a girl's life, there is always that ultimate crush among thousands of crushes. He may not be your big love but he sure owns a part in your heart.. Your ultimate crush tends to live within you for the rest of your days for the very reason that he is the one person who has everything that you prefered for in a guy... and usually, ultimate crush will stay as ultimate crush because this person will never be yours... he is your highschool dream blind date.. he also could be your 6th grade cutest classmate.. or he is that college basketball hotshot you want to have as your grad ball date.. bottomline is, he is that close-to-perfect guy who was never yours.

I had my ultimate crush when i was in highschool. He is everything a girl could fall into. He is so damn atractive, the kind who can attract attention even if he is just sitting in a corner without a care in the world. He appears very mysterious, so behave, so neat (He always has clean fingernails and his school uniform, a white polo shirt stays clean the whole day at school), so quiet and he has got those soulful eyes that whenever i look at him, i would be drowned and transcended into another reality. He has a band (don't know if he still has one at this time), he does that piano thingy and the vocals. He loves music a lot that is why even if i am too scared to sing, i joined that music org we had at school just to spend more time with him.. he knows me and i know him but we are never friends. We've been classmates long enough during my highschool years but i can't even remember a time where we engaged in a long conversation. There are a lot of times though when he would just sit next to me and God knows how many times my heart does that somersault thing everytime. But the thing that irritates me is, he would just sit next to me and throughout the entire time he is sitting right next to me, he will say nothing.. so what i did each time it happens is i will just remember the moment and feel each fuss he makes beside me while saying nothing too.. (yeah stupid but i guess that's part of highschool life, the tameme thingy). The most treasured moment was when he sat right next to me and after a while he sang No One Else Comes Close by Joe. I can't forget that moment.. I was busy daydreaming over westlife (that was the time my liking to that boyband is at its highest) while waiting for the CAT formation to come full circle when there he was... walking towards me and he sat right next to me. He didn't say a word as usual and then he sang that song.. I felt my hands sweating, my heart had that abnormal beating and i wished the ground would swallow me so i would disappear. I can't put into words the kilig churva i felt at that time.. i am sure though that it was beyond normal. After he sang the entire song (imagine that!!!), he said nothing so i just pretended i did not notice or care that he sang.. I somehow acted busy flipping over my notes.. and after a few minutes, he walked away leaving me behind. Maybe if it happened now, i think i could pull off a few lines like 'ganahan ka ana na song?' or 'kinsa gakanta ana' or whatever just to save the moment.. i hate to say but that moment was just wasted away.. but i can't blame myself since i was like 15 years old, i didn't know what to do.The thing is.. i can't seem to give logic why he would sit right next to me and say nothing and sang that song...! Maybe he likes me too:) toink! nope,.. because i believe that when a guy likes a girl.. he will renounce what he feels sooner or later.. and in his case, he never did.. he never said anything. He has years in highschool to say it out loud but he never did... so i think he doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he just likes to sing at that time beside me. Another i-like-moment with him was that time when School's X'mas party was approaching and he approached me suddenly and said "kanta kiss me inig party.. kami man band". He said the words so fast, he didn't even blink and i wasn't able to say anything coz everything happened so fast and he surprised me that i just stared at him and after a few seconds, when i finally calmed down and was about to say "sige", he said "pero murag okay ra man sad si ___ lang ang mokanta" He refered my other classmate who also knows how to sing. And i just nodded. I really hated myself for not being able to say yes immediately, i could have sang for him... but it was his fault also.. he shouldn't have surprised me like that.. He should have at least said my name and said the words in a normal manner.. he said it too fast like he was out of breath.. but i've to say i really like it that he personally asked me to sing:) It was nice... hek hek...But anyway, it was all in the past now. And i still like the song No One else but the feeling i had for him was long gone. (I like the song eversince he sang that song next to me, hihihi) I realized last year that what i felt was long gone.. coz after highschool graduation, i still miss him and since i had my college years in USC and he had his in 'University of Sekreto:)'... i sometimes went there after my class coz My Agaw Blessie attended in that University too.. hoping to just have a glimpse of him... (see, ultimate crush is ultimate crush.. they are the ones who could make you do stupid illogical things) and even one of my beloved bitches Feebee Tinks got crazy over the fact that i told her to befriend him thru text... so until i graduated from college, i sometimes thought i still have that magical churva for him.. but i was mistaken. Because just late last year.. we met and we actually talked..! hihihi.. and then i noticed that i chatted with him like he is just a nobody.. like just some old friend and then i knew.. what i have felt for him has been long gone.:) Another proof is this thing i am doing right now.. updating my thing for him on my blog.. if i still have that heart-pumping thing for him.. naks! I will never make an entry about it for the world to know... kakahiya...! Since he is just an ordinary guy in my eye right now.. i couldn't care even if he would know that he was my 'silent song' way back in highschool.....

He still is so cute and is still a head-turner.. hihihihi.. but unlike before, he no longer makes my heart skip a beat.. maybe because right now, i have seen someone else.. not close-to-perfect like him but he has his own thing which makes me notice him too:) I wonder what that person has been doing lately.. hhmmm... churva lang..!